July 8, 2015

Why Bother

Been over a year since my last post…. Lot has happened since not sure if for all good or what. But I don’t know today is just a crap day… I try to keep positive and do the right thing but it seems sometimes does not fall in place like that and you ask yourself “why bother”.

Just a little history over the last year – I am divorce now since all the stuff came up, ex-wife got charged with felony stalking and misdemeanor stalking and only service a few months on house arrest which in my awful. So you see I have dealt with a lot of things over the last year(s). My kids stayed with me over that time and seem to be doing well. Then the day she came home and it all started.

Once she came home for house arrest the kids did not behave like they did and still do not. Seems all they do is want, want, want… I only get what I see fit for them. Anyway enough of my griping… what is done is done.

Anyhow I have always been told do the right thing no matter what it will all work out or will it. Now you will still get mad and say things, I believe it is just part of life… but during the entire court/divorce time I tried to do the right thing even though I was stabbed in the back several times, said some things but kept doing it. It is hard to do the right thing.

After the divorce was final I allowed her to stay with me for what was supposed to be 30 days turned into 50 at which that time I was still doing everything myself and she refused to buy anything of if she did it was for her. I kept asking myself should I just kick her out, you see she was waiting on a rental house to come up and I was letting her stay until then. Finally she was out…. It was a relief.

I had originally went for full custody with the kids but then after my dad had lung cancer I did not want to put my family thru all the hardship I went back with joint custody. (My dad passed in Feb 2015) Now have said that the kids can live with who they want because of their age but it is set for them to be with us every other week. Now the kids wanted to stay with her so I said ok. I mean after she was in jail for a year and house arrest for a few months I thought why not.

Moving forward some…. During last two months each of my kids have been on trips with me and I have gotten them things. I told my ex that once all the trips are done I will get them on a rotation. She has thought little about that because she is low on money and says the kids need to stay with you after I had already told her what my plans were… you know WHY BOTHER sometimes.

Here is the final thing. After everything I have tried to do and work out I was suppose have my kids Sunday July 5, 2015 – did not get them, she has some friend driving them around in her car who I have no idea is.. Monday she had an excuse, she was shopping, was with her friend again, daughter was with another one of her friends kids and my son was spending the night.. this is after I made plans to see my kids so guess what… no kids, Tuesday – with her friend again gone shopping… so I have gotten to the point of why bother with it..

Yesterday was one of my worst days and nobody to talk to… nobody to see… nobody to do anything with… You know you feel all alone and try to do the right thing and it blows up in your face. So that is why I say WHY BOTHER… is it really worth it.

I now this post is a rant but maybe someone is having the same issue I am right now.. I know it will work out but at what point do you ask yourself when enough is… enough.

RBTC