April 17, 2014

Trouble Waters

 

Well it has been awhile since I posted anything, just a lot going on in my life. Sometimes I ask why, why, why…. But you cannot always ask why. Sometimes things have to play out for you to completely understand. Here is my journey.

If you read my testimony you will understand me better. We always want the best for our lives but that doesn’t always seem to be how it goes. You meet that person, get married, have kids and grow old together.

All of this is what I planned but hasn’t worked out. Now I know without a doubt I am a Christian and I will see my Father one day. Without me knowing this I would not have made it through my times I am going through now. I was married 18 years ago, things good but until 1999 the marriage started going south and hasn’t stopped since. I was doing my own thing did not care about anything or anyone. I was happy. I liked having a beer… but God did not see this as fitting for me so he solved me of that issue. One DUI, 3 hours in jail made me start thinking. A couple of years after that I quit smoking then finally stop the drinking in 2007. God was working in my life and I was slowing starting to follow His guiding hand more.

Fast forward – almost 3 years ago, marriage, was trying to figure it all out but could not put my hand on it, (keep this sentence in mind), is all time low but my faith in God was getting stronger. I was faithful on going to church my wife was going to another church but would not join mine. My son had joined mine and was baptized. This is when I first knew I was in Gods will.

Time goes on and roughly 1.5 years ago, my wife is warned about messing with this lady friend of hers. This was 2/2013, I had already sense issue in the friendship and backed off. Buy my wife would not stop bugging her and I get a call at my office one day from her that she had been arrested. This tied everything I had felt together. I remember telling her to call her parents to deal with her. She has her court day and spends 2 days in jail. The court documents show stalking so this is serious. I told her if she keeps doing this I will leave her because I had enough of everything. Now I knew years earlier I had been picked up but this is that she was warned before and that is what had griped me. Anyway about 2-3 months after the judge gives her sentence and she was (I thought) doing right, she contacts a person she was not support to by court order. I get a call at my office again that she is going to jail. I remember telling her ok. At that moment I knew what I was going to do. I was at the end of my rope with the marriage.

She spent 4 months in jail so far, had counseling and goes back to court 30th of this month. I have giving her divorce papers in December which nothing has been sign. You may ask yourself he is a Christian and divorce should not be part of this. Let me tell you all this, I have prayed and prayed about this. When the last thing happened it was like a sign saying you have done all you can. I have talked to my church staff and people and they do not banish me from doing what I have decided to do.

I am not saying I am perfect person because I am not, not even close. I have my major faults but God looks at what is in your heart. In this world you have good and evil, God and Satan. This you have to keep in mind, there was only one person on this earth that was perfect in every way and that person is Jesus.

If it had not been for my faith in God and my continue efforts of praising Him even in my hard times I would not of made it. I always and will always keep my eyes on Him for he guides me through the trouble waters. My life is not perfect but I have a perfect Master.

I hope this helps anyone out there that is going through something similar. Sometimes it is best to lay it on the table than keep it bundled up inside. If you keep it bundled then you will never have that peace inside and realize there is a way out from under the water.

The trouble water can become Holy water. If you as lost then pray to God and ask for forgiveness and believe Jesus is the Son of God. If you believe in Him you will be saved. Confess with your mouth that he is Lord, ask him to come into your heart and you will receive his grace and blessings.

Finally… ask yourself this question “If I died right now, would I go to heaven or hell…

RBTC